Really Now

Picture it Sicily 1930 ....


Okay okay so it wasn't Sicily nor was it anywhere in the 1900's. I'm sure most of you are aware of where this comes from though. On the show Golden Girls Sophia always references her dreams to sometime in Sicily, her home land.





I Had A Dream...

__I don't always have dreams these days. Actually they are few and far in between now that I've gotten older, but when I do dream it's always something that sticks in my mind and riddles me crazy. Last nights dream really caused me to do some thinking about myself and about my life. They say that your dreams always have meaning and that you should read into them. So I am dying to know what comes of this.

Boys | Roller Skates | Scandal | Betrayal

__Okay so in my dream I am a drag queen who works at a skating rink/pizza place waiting tables high whore drag. Through out the course of my dream I keep meeting these guys I think I like at the skating rink and end up dating them. The first guy I dated was great but he totally lied to me about who he was and what he was about. Nothing too serious but I have always been big on principle and I wasn't happy with being lied to so I broke up with him.

__The same thing happens with the other two guys only one of them cheats on me and the other is totally mean to me. All three of them left me feeling the same way, funny thing is the way I felt in the dream is the way I feel towards men in my everyday life. Okay so one day in the dream I get off work and head home. I have to walk so I do alot of thinking on the way to my house. Well to put it quite bluntly I commit suicide when I get home because I can't handle it anymore. This is the part of the dream when I woke up abruptly in a cold sweat wondering what the hell just happened.

| My Analysis |

__ Well to start off with one of the main things that confused me in the beginning, I believe the reason behind my being in drag in my dream has alot to do with my low self esteem. Drag queens endure alot of ridicule and hardship and sometimes result in a lower self steem. The fact that I am a waiter tells me that I spend alot of time catering to others needs and sometimes put myself second, and the fact that I work on roller skates tells me that I some how find a balance in taking care of the needs of both myself and others.

__ Now the whole concept of multiple relationships with boys is a whole different story because it tells me that I was unable to find happiness in each of them. Each breakup left me with different feelings that I can relate to even now. The liar left me feeling naive and gullible, the cheater left me feeling undesirable and insecure, and the asshole left me feeling distraught and perplexed. These are feelings that I experience in every relationship in my life.

__ The ending is quite simple to sum up. The long walk home is reference to the long road it took me to get to where I am today. As for the suicide, well that represents the point in my life where I felt like I was at the end of my rope and couldn't take it anymore. This would be the point in my life where I decided to put dating and romance on hold because I didn't know how to handle the emotions I was flooded with every time. Now thats a dream for you !!!!!